The Truth about Erotica, Romantica, and Porn

So I’ve been doing stuff. What kind of stuff? The kind of stuff that pays the bills. I’ve had to crunch my time extra hard these days so I could have money to thoroughly take advantage of the after Christmas sales. Although I plan on hitting a few stores, most likely I’ll be blowing all of that cash at Target.

I have had a little bit of free time, though. I’ve played on Twitter a little bit, started reading my novel, worked on a few short stories, and watched some porn.

That’s right. I watch porn.

Although there are some good adult films out there, the vast majority of it is bad acting, bad filming, and bad sex scenes. This may make you wonder why I watch it if it’s all so bad. Well my fellow freaksters, I watch it to get ideas. I’ll be upfront and honest. I’m not terribly experienced in the sex department so I have to rely on my imagination. Reading stories by other writers, viewing images, and watching movies (including porn) keeps the light bulb over my head lit.

Surprisingly, though, watching porn has also taught me a valuable lesson about writing. Everyone knows that most porn is created for men. Just like most romantic and erotic stories are written for women. This has a lot to do with the different ways men and women are sexually stimulated. But one thing remains the same whether the sex happens on video or on paper. The viewer/reader wants to be a part of that fantasy.

I realized this when I noticed that in a lot of porn videos you don’t hear or see much of the man. Sure you see his penis and maybe parts of his legs or torso. Generally, though, the camera is all over the woman and you get to see every inch of her including the fact that she’s not a real blonde. It was then I understood that men who watch porn want to be able to pretend they are that guy who is having sex with the hot girl on the bed.

It’s the same for female readers of romantic and erotic stories. She wants to be the protagonist who is getting drilled into the bed. Fiction stories, at least in this part of the industry, is all about creating a fantasy world where the reader can leave behind the laundry, the piles of work on their desk, their crazy mother in laws, their demanding bosses, and the rebellious kids and enter a world where they are secret agents, vixens, starship captains, wives with skills, or whatever the protagonist happens to be in the story.

Romantica, erotica, and porn all feed the same need; escapism.

After experiencing this moment of clarity, I began looking at my stories with new eyes. It became clear to me what they were missing and why I really wasn’t satisfied with them. They lacked elements that drew the reader into the story and made them want to interact with it.

So I’ve decided that’s my goal for the New Year. Even though I have finished a novel, I’m going to concentrate on writing short stories until I feel like I have a good handle on my storytelling.

If you are in the same boat, here are a few articles I found online that may help:

Connecting With Your Reader

How to Write Sex Scenes

How to Write Erotica: A Woman’s Tips

13 Ways to Create Compelling Characters

Short Stories: 10 Tips for Creative Writers

What’s Your Pleasure?

Dialogue Secrets

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