You Are Unwise to Lower Your Pants

I posted about this almost a year ago. Someone went through the Star Wars script and substituted the words pants in select places to come up with some hilarious one liners. Since then the list has grown to 278 lines and the top ten has changed a little bit.

The Old Top 10

1. I find your lack of pants disturbing.
2. You are unwise to lower your pants.
3. The Force is strong in my pants. (Ladies, you saw it here first. The future pick up line of weirdos everywhere.
4. Chewie and me got into a lot of pants more heavily guarded than this.
5. I cannot teach him. The boy has no pants.
6. Your pants, you will not need them.
7. You came in those pants? You’re braver than I thought.
8. Governer Tarkin. I should have expected to find you holding Vader’s pants.
9. I sense the conflict within you. Let go of your pants!
10. In his pants you will find a new definition of pain and suffering.

The New Top 10

1. I find your lack of pants disturbing.
2. You are unwise to lower your pants.
3. Chewie and me got into a lot of pants more heavily guarded than this.
4. Your pants, you will not need them.
5. The Force is strong in my pants.
6. You came in those pants? You’re braver than I thought.
7. I cannot teach him. The boy has no pants.
8. In his pants you will find a new definition of pain and suffering
9. Governer Tarkin. I should have expected to find you holding Vader’s pants.
10. I think you just can’t bear to let a gorgeous guy like me out of your pants.

This is still funny as heck. To see the whole list visit The Keepers of the Lists.

Advertisements

The Father of One of My Kids

This is a post from my old blog. This joke is as funny now as it was when I first posted it.

***************************************

 

I THINK YOUR THE FATHER OF ONE OF MY KIDS

A guy goes to the supermarket and notices a beautiful blond woman waving at him and saying hello.

He’s rather taken aback, because he can’t place where he knows her from. So he says, “Do you know me?”

To which she replies, “I think you’re the father of one of my kids.”

Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says, “My God, are you the stripper from my bachelor party that I laid on the pool table with all of my buddies watching, while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery and then stuck a carrot up my butt???”

She looks into his eyes and calmly says, “No, I’m your son’s math teacher.”

***************************************

LOL

Tag, I’m It

A little bit ago, I was contacted by the lovely Ms. Starlily of The Active Life and advised that she added the Figmeant Writing Studio and Community to the list of outstanding personal development blogs. Fabulous! And the best thing about it is that I get to extend the honor to those blogs I think are great.

It’s always hard for me to choose just a few blogs because I think that most of the ones I come across are great and contribute much to the development of their readers. But I persevered and came up with three that weren’t already on the list.

Cardin Lilly Routh @ Optimistlabs

James and Karen @ Visualized.Feel.Abundance

Jim and Emma @ Go Smell The Flowers

And here is the entire list for your perusal pleasure.
Continue reading

Blogging Star

Blogging Star

I’m going to start this post off with an apology to Rolando who gave me this award over a week ago. Unfortunately the Incident happened soon after that and I wasn’t really in the mindset to accept the award. But now I’m back and ready to roll and what better way to kick off a great weekend than to accept and pass on this wonderful award.

Rolando thinks that my blog is inspirational which means a lot to me. I’ve come to feel like my purpose in life is to help others in their journeys. So if my blog in some way, shape or form does that then I’m happy to keep plugging away at the keyboard.

The best part of the award is that I get to pass it on to other blogs I think are great. So without furthur ado, I pass this award on to

Keli

Katie

Karen

James and Karen

Jayne

Joy

Stephanie

Congrats and enjoy 🙂

Some People Suck and Some People Rock

Behold the light of Elendil, our most beloved star. May it be a light for you in dark places, when all other lights go out. [Galadriel – The Lord of the Rings]

I haven’t been feeling well for the past week. The weather changed so quickly here in Maryland that I caught a mild cold. Long before that happened, however, I had a member of my family tell me that my dream of having a home based business was stupid and that I needed to get a real job.
Continue reading

Shaun the Sheep

I’m a big fan of animation probably because of the cuteness factor. We should all have something in our lives that makes us feel good when we are exposed to it and one of those things for me is the work of Aardman Animations.

Aardman Animations is a British animation studio who created the well known claymation duo Wallace and Gromit. I recently came across one of their other works while watching Spongebob Squarepants (It was just on for background noise, I swear!)
Continue reading